The Law of Attraction, Repetition Compulsion and Relationship Cauldron

We have been paying lots of attention lately to The Law of Attraction, Abraham's Teachings as conveyed by Ester Hicks. The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships Seems that law has been working us for some long time.

Witness the Repetition Compulsion! Alice Miller, Jungian Analyst and author describes how our bodies do not forget and compel us to "try again." For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence What is it that has us repeating the same dumb mistakes in our thoughts, feelings and actions . . . over and over again? And, what does that have to do with relationships and "cauldron?"

Well, we are attracted to each other and not just because of our scent, looks, charm, personality, money, etc. Most importantly we are attracted to each other to work out our issues!

I like the idea of a "cauldron". It conveys a certain metaphysical, alchemical quality. Add some sacred water, a few drops of dragon blood, some newt's eye-balls, some amanita muscaria, a few dandelion leafs, some Sucanet and whatever else goes into the pot and stuff starts to happen. Could just as well talk about adding some love, some PTSD, a bit of cheating or lying, some drugs, a bit of spinach, Sucanet and we might end up with pretty much the same potion! The potion is to agitate us to heal!

It all has to do with our evolution to higher consciousness. The deal is not, no not at all, "And they lived happily ever-after!" More it is about "You can't always get what you wa-annt. No you can't always get what you wa-annt. But if you try, you might find . . . you get what you neeed!" Or something like that. There is a deep need for us to evolve. It has to do with our very genetic underpinnings. We can't not evolve as a species: have been doing so for all of creation.

This is how it works. When our soul, ego or body is traumatized by self or other it hurts so much that a piece of us leaves our body. Sometimes it gets stuck out in non-ordinary reality (if the hurt is great enough). Sometimes it comes and goes depending on our life-style; on how much we are dipping in and out of negative thoughts, feelings and actions! (For more information on this subject please refer to: Sandra Ingerman Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self, Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation; and, Michael Harner, The Way of the Shaman.)

Anytime a piece of  us is not where it belongs we are out of integrity. We are in so many words "not then working with a full deck of cards."

As one of the Universal Laws appears to be evolution towards higher consciousness (I certainly believe this is the case!) we tend to set ourselves up to have to continually face up to our wounded-ness. The best way to do this is in relationship. The most beneficial kind of relationship for this work to happen is in a couple.

One of the ways in which, by default if in no other way, we "work" our recovery of soul is by joining in relationship with others who have some kind of mirror issue to our own. The pot gets stirred over and over again and we repeatedly have the necessity and opportunity of seeing ourselves in our wounded-ness.

Often we miss the chance to experience any kind of recovery and advancement of consciousness or integration of self. Instead we argue, excuse, deny, hide, get angry, freeze, rationalize, or in countless other ways side-step the issue. We miss the opportunity to gain some wisdom. That's ok. The issue will come up again for further consideration. It can't not!

My understanding of why this is so has to do with our having some pretty limited frames of reference and language usages.

Our thinking is mostly that we either have soul or we don't. Well, how about having varying degrees of soul depending on what is going on. We are not just a soul. We are degrees of soul integration depending on our degree of actively recovering our soul from times of ignorance, accident, abuse, abandonment, betrayal, etc. We are degrees of soul integration depending on our ability to relax, stay present, meditate, be mindful and be at One-ness with self.

It is possible for us to have great soul loss and not heal! We can do this by playing at being calm and cool. We can meditate, become so focused on our path that our issues don't come to the surface, lay low,   be in such a state of denial that others avoid us, and probably many other acts of limitation. And it is important that we know that we can take such time outs. My own preference is for the "Time Outs" to be institutionalized as a way to calm down and then come back into the relationship to talk it out.

Why not work at healing and get on with evolving!

Once the time out has been taken and we have had a chance to come back into "presence," into a greater sense of personal integration, then what helps is to speak our truth. Truth speaking has five parts to it:

1. What our perceptions are. Just what did we see, hear or feel? 
2. How exactly did our bodies respond; or, usually, react to that perception?
3. What emotions, thoughts and feelings came out of the bodily response? What "churning" of thoughts and feelings then came about? 
4. And, what memories of similar events came to the surface? 
5. What then can we ask for from our partner in terms of wants or needs to help us stay present in similar situations?

Breaking our communications down in such a fashion allows us to be clear about how the "other" impacts us. And, how that impact effected us when we were pure and innocent.

Such dialogue can bring about a working relationship where we can assist our partners to evolve more readily, smoothly and effectively.

I mentioned, earlier, our use of language and how it, too, limits us. Take the word "try!" It only makes sense in the past tense. To say, "I am trying" is to say "I am not doing." Our unconscious minds take such things literally. 

To say, "I will do something" again puts the action off. 

The prayer of ascension thanks the powers for granting us that which we aspire to have! The law of Attraction has it that if we believe we are receiving we will receive. It is "present tense!" I am blessed, I am loved, I am successful, etc. Not I someday will or I will try. Those are moving in the right direction but far better to actually be In the field of love!