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Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Relationship Cauldron: The gift of interpersonal conflicts!

All that we experience is a gift. Even pain is a gift! Anytime we get information that creates uncomfortable sensations in our body it has to do with alerting our conscious mind to look at choices and to make those that serve us more holistically.

What facilitates this work happening expediantly are the “tools” (http://scottlsherman.com/frameset.html)  that have been developed over centuries and which I have gathered, added to and expanded upon.

Most often when I suggest that conflict is a gift; that relationships are a kind of cauldron I am met with incredulous comments. How can such hurt and pain be a gift?

Referring to other blog entries helps to understand what this is about.

Once people get the idea that when conflict occurs it allows for rapid personal integration and consciousness expansion it is possible to adapt the understanding and belief of conflict being a gift.

The work has to do with learning to look inward, to our sensations and how they connect us with aspects of ourself. The vision is to remove the prescriptive blocks and allow the flow of energy and information between sensations and thoughts.

As that work happens it gets easier and easier. The hardest part is grasping that changing self is a whole lot easier than trying to change anyone else’s behavior or thoughts.

When both (or the set as with groups) adopt that understanding and belief then change towards health and happiness, balance and harmony, becomes even easier.

The work can become faster or slower by moderation of the temperature of the heat under the cauldron. Both individuals (or all) meditating and working to calm inner-turmoil increases the cooling. That can optimise the change process or prevent it from happening. Too much cooling can lead to a response similar to the proverbial “Saint in the Monastery”, who upon re-joining society finds themselves back in the Jeckyl and Hyde pattern.

Learning to modulate inner turmoil stimulated by “other” allows for a faster and deeper connection between neuro-cortex and body. Mind and Body become more closely linked and the transition from reactive to responsive increases. What used to take years or months to work through and regain “presence” or “center” can be reduced to days or even hours or minutes.

Practicing and agreeing to take time outs to re-center and then returning to process the interactions increases the rate of turn-around time. That tends to increase and stimulate our neuro-cortex, the newest part of our brain. Our third-eye is stimulated, self-awareness increases and our ability to change in the now is augmented.

I believe that the process of taking time outs is critical to our work. How about if I focus on that in my next entry?

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